The City College Of New York Graduation Day | Division of Arts and Humanities
On May 31st 2017, draped in my graduation gown and cap, with my yellow tassels cascading to the side, I silently stood in line surrounded by a diverse group of excited individuals laughing, chatting, snapping pictures under cloudy skies waiting for the ceremony to begin. Only then, did I realized my reality. It was over!
I was no longer a student! For two years I committed myself to enroll in school and had lived within the confines of a demanding schedule: 35 hours workweek, approximately 12-14 hours in class, 10-12 hours commuting, approximately 28 hours per week sleeping, and at that moment my structure was disrupted. Nerves and a bit of anxiety kicked in which left me feeling a bit displaced and wondering what’s NEXT!
I was jolted back to the present state of affairs as the processional song beamed through the garden competing with the prideful cheers of my mother, sister, brother, nephew, niece and one of my best friends along with other families welcoming our class of 2017. As I walked towards my seat surrounded by my fellow graduates, a range of emotions flooded me and I started to cry because of how proud I felt in that moment especially for everything that I had sacrificed and endured in order to get there and I felt at peace even if I was unable to figure out what’s Next. In that moment, I choose to remain there and embrace the feeling of accomplishment, pride, camaraderie, love and happiness.
Thank you to all the people who turned out to the Grenada screening of Scars Of Our Mothers’ Dreams. I appreciate all the interest in the film and the way it was received. Please see the video below that Carlana, host of Cocktails & Conversation and founder of FemmePowered and I did post screening.
Visit FemmePowered’s website to learn more about them and connect. Also stop by my Facebook page and like and follow the page to keep abreast with what I am doing and where I take the film next. You can also subscribe to the monthly newsletter.
Special Screening of Scars of Our Mothers’ Dreams at Cocktails and Conversations
Grenada, W.I. – June 14th, 2017
Cocktail in hand, I walked around the room embracing everyone (some familiar, others strangers), welcoming them for coming out to share this special showcase of the film in Grenada, not only with me, but moreso with Melissa Jeremiah and Natasha LaMothe, two of the other participants in the Scars Of Our Mothers’ Dreams.
As everyone embarked on taking their seats, I retreated to the back of the room to watch the film with them. Anchored on each side of the room were Melissa and Natasha, hand in hand with their respective partners, seeking support as they watched themselves on screen and heard their experiences vocalized for the very first time in the midst of a room full of strangers.
By the end of the film and throughout the Q&A session, the room was emotionally charged. I was deeply moved and humbled by the responses which validated the impact and relatability of Scars of Our Mother’s Dreams.
Scars Of Our Mothers’ Dreams academic debut at Cityvisions Showcase, June 2nd 2017
I felt like a first time mother pridefully and eagerly ready to reveal my newborn to my family and the world, as I walked through the doors of the Auditorium on Broadway for the Cityvisions Showcase. This journey was conceptualized approximately four years prior from my desire to produce a documentary that told my personal experiences and the complexities of parental migration from Grenada and its impact on the lives of their children left behind.
The previous two years while enrolled in the MFA program at the City College of New York while balancing a full time job, I was so busy working through the process of producing Scars of Our Mothers’ Dreams, that I had little or no time to fully digest and appreciate what I was developing. I was consumed with “getting it right” and every time I received feedback from my fellow filmmakers and advisors, anxiety took over. There were days I felt defeated, stressed, emotionally and physically sick and wanted to just quit, especially after getting robbed of our media and hardware during production on the last day of shoot. Upon my return to New York and throughout post-production, I isolated myself and hid the film from my family and friends, unsettled about hearing their feedback about the film.
Surrounded by my family and friends, I sat in the auditorium holding on to my mother’s hands to support her, since it was the first time she was seeing the film, but honestly I needed her warmth to calm my raging nerves as the opening image of Scars Of Our Mothers’ Dreams appeared on screen. For the entire 11 minutes I held my breath, trying to scan the faces of each person in the darkness but could not see anything, instead all I heard was my mother faintly sobbing; then suddenly, an outburst of applauses and cheers greeted me and my mother approvingly and lovingly squeezed my hands. I exhaled and introduced to the world Scars Of Our Mothers’ Dreams.